"I much prefer being a man. Women have to spend so much time pulling themselves together, and their shoes kill your feet" ~Lynne Carter

This blog post is a tribute to one of my favorite people of all time.

Over the weekend I realized that I needed some new shoes. Actually snow boots, to be more specific. I was slightly embarrassed to make this discovery because I have this weird feeling that I really own a lot of shoes. In fact, without going in my closet to actually look, I could have safely guessed that I own more shoes right now than in the last 16 years combined. But I don't own any snow boots and so, swallowing my pride, I discussed my need with Shem, and she agreed.

Having her so readily agree that my need was truly that -- and not simply a selfish want -- made me feel moderately better, but the damage had been done. I became obsessed with knowing how many shoes I currently own and trying to eliminate some. And so I raided my closet and came up with the magic number: TWELVE! Twelve pairs of shoes, and me asking for yet another! My new discovery left me agog. What single man in history could possibly have use for that many shoes?? "I must throw some out," I said to me, "if only to make room for the new pair." And so I began.

The two pairs of Tevas were immediately safe -- those babies are way too valuable. And I obviously couldn't throw away any of my athletic shoes: one for inside-only, one for outside, one for yardwork, and one for running. Two pairs of daily-wear shoes (to rotate between so I don't wear the same ones every day. Speaking of which, I could probably use another of those, but that's beside the point), hiking boots, cowboy boots, dress shoes (which are also getting kind of old, a new pair here wouldn't hurt either)... none of my shoes was expendable!

What is happening to me?? Somebody stop this madness! Why can't I throw away a single pair of shoes???